Just Why??

Marriage....for a typical hindu woman...its all about sindhoor...mangalsutra...bangles...toe rings... every facet declaring it out loud...that you are married...that you are claimed....that you are bound by love of someone. When do they loose their sheen??? when do they transform from symbols of loving bond to shackles binding you? When do you just lose the faith in the one with whom you have pledged to spend your life? When do you just want to break free from the daily nightmare that your life has now become? When does life actually change from a dream to a nightmare?

Is the change because of complacency in the relation? Is it because of circumstances or is it because of the people around you? How does one fight for the most fundamental right that was supposed to be yours by the law of marriage? How does one try to accept and deal with the fact that maybe you were never a priority and always a distant option in the dynamics of relationships. To what extent are you supposed to bear the burden and hoping for a better future..and when do you decide that the correct decision would be to just let go and be free? Is letting go of things when the going gets tough the right answer at times?

Why cant the love between two people actually cannot overcome the machinations of a jealous few? Why cant the yardstick of measuring the happiness of people be the same for all the relations? Why cant the parents of the girl get the respect that is their due? Why do they always have to be treated like secondary citizens? Why is it that it should always be the girl who compromises in the most important things? Why cant we accept a utopian way of thinking and live and let live happily? Why cant the in-laws refrain from forever finding fault with the bride they bought home? Why cant they give unconditional love and support?

A lots of questions and very few answers... no clear way of navigating through the treacherous emotional minefield and arriving at a safe destination.... no yardsticks of measuring the decision making... does one need to be logical or emotional in making a decision?